How to avoid regrets in life

What keeps us from achieving the things we really want in life? My short and bold answer to that: fear.

If we want to feel excited and enthusiastic again, we have to learn to overcome our fears. Let that sink in for a moment.

Think back to your younger years. The first time on a bicycle. The first day of high school. Your first kiss. Your first party. Your first exam. Your first job. Your first company? The first time on a horse maybe? You can fill in whatever you like.

Didn’t they all seem scary at first? How do you look back at it now? How did you feel after succeeding? This is the excitement that makes us feel alive and kicking!

Don’t let fear keep you stuck in an imaginary feeling of comfort, while it is only keeping you from achieving the things we really want in life.

It is fear what will leave you having regrets in life. You too deserve to live your best life! So, how to avoid having any regrets in your life? And how to overcome our fears!

It starts with desire

Let’s start at the very beginning. If you don’t want anything in life, then you can never regret anything in life. It’s as simple as that.

Luckily, most people DO want to achieve something in life, because in my personal opinion, that’s the whole point of life. We want to grow. Grow as a human and as an existence. I guess you think so too, otherwise you’d not be reading this article, right? 😉

Great! Now, let’s make this blog post as useful as possible for you. I’d LOVE it if you would take a sheet of paper and start writing the next couple of questions down, as well as your answer to it.

Question 1: What exactly do you want to achieve in life?

We’re looking to achieve a breakthrough here. First things first: make sure you have your ‘WHAT’ clear. What’s the thing you want to achieve a breakthrough in at this moment in your life? Get clear about this first.

In order to achieve something specific in life, my very first question to you is: What exactly do you want to achieve? I’d like to emphasize the word ‘exactly’ here. Because most people tend to stick to the possession of certain material things in life. But that’s not how it works. That’s just the tip of the iceberg. Let me help you to look deeper within yourself.

What do you REALLY want? What problem do you think the possession of that material thing would solve? What does it mean to you to possess that? Probably the answer to that question is a vague or general answer. Now what does that general answer mean to you? How does it look like?

For instance, if you’re looking to have a certain amount of money on the bank (material possession), what would that amount represent or mean to you? Maybe your answer to that is ‘Freedom’ (general answer). Great, now dig deeper. What does ‘Freedom’ look like for you? What does this concept mean to you? How does your life look like if you would have all the ‘Freedom’ you’re looking for?

Can you make a mental picture of this? How concrete can you make it? Try to describe it with as much detail as possible. If you’re able to picture it sharply in your mind, if you can visualize this, if you can maybe even feel this, that is the level of deepness we want to reach with this exercise here.

Great! Now, some people know exactly what they want in life, and they are just looking for ways to overcome their fears to get straight to it. Awesome! Just hang on then, we’re getting there.

Question 2: What’s holding you back from achieving this?

Knowing what you REALLY want in life, ask yourself this second question with which we’re looking to achieve a breakthrough: What’s holding you back from achieving this? Be honest with yourself. What thoughts are coming up at this moment?

how to unblock yourself and achieve mayor personal breakthroughs

Do a thought download from all the ‘excuses’ that are coming up when you try to answer this question. Write down all your thoughts on which you believe why it’s not possible to achieve what you really want.

These are all just excuses. I’m sorry, I don’t intend to be bold, I’m just trying to confront you with the story that you are telling yourself. And hey! Know that this is ok! There is nothing wrong with that! We all tend to do that. Just accept the fact that those are your thoughts that come up. And acknowledge that that’s nothing more but the story that you’re telling yourself.

Take a deep breath and sit back for a while, to see what’s really going on in your life. What are you telling yourself? Is this true? Is this REALLY true? How can you know it’s true? Did anyone else already achieve what you really want to achieve? Then why is this not possible for you?

Just a heads up: YOU’RE DOING GREAT! We’re almost there. 😉

Question 3: What would you do if the story is not true?

This is the last AND MOST IMPORTANT question: What would you do if the story you’re telling yourself, is not true? Would you take the jump? 😉 Would you go for it?

If you’ve answered the previous question correctly, and if you are willing to admit that you can rewrite the story you’re telling yourself… Then we’ve just overcome a huge roadblock: we’re starting to realize that we can achieve anything we want in life!

I hope you’re starting to believe by now that you can truly achieve anything you want in life, but it all starts with having enough desire … If your desire is big enough, then you’re willing to do the work. This is the other main roadblock that keeps people stuck from taking action …

Making the desire bigger than the fear

The key to taking action and to avoid having any regrets in your life is the realization that for as long as you think (or believe) that your fear is bigger than your desire, you won’t take any action.

Let’s get more perspective on your real fears. Because really, are those fears realistic? For instance, when bungee jumping – which is an extreme example of course – how many people really do die? And how many people don’t die? Is that fear really in proportion to the actual risk then? In most cases, it isn’t.

Put your fear into perspective, and you’ll see that it’s often bigger in your mind than it actually is. If you want to grow as a person, you will have to get out of your comfort zone. If you’re able to get used to the habit of constantly stretching yourself, you’ll learn that it’s actually quite fun and exciting!

And then … only the sky is your limit!

Most people only think of ‘the worst that could happen’. But in my opinion, you can’t fail at something. Either you learn something, or you succeed in something. So, ‘the worst’ that could happen is that you learn something. How bad is that?

More important than ‘the worst’ that could happen is: what is the best that could happen? The best that could happen is that you’d succeed in achieving your desired goal! How awesome would that be?

Isn’t that worth a struggle? What’s it worth to you to live your best life? To not have any regrets?

What actions would you take if you’d believe you could do this? Chances are high you would take different actions, that are more likely to achieve the wished result.

In my opinion, doing nothing is way more painful than to go for it and take the next step. If you believe so too, then start taking your first next step now!

The only thing you need to do is to take a decision for yourself here and now: am I going to choose to keep getting the same results? OR am I going to get out of my comfort zone and pursue my best life?

The choice is yours. It’s your life. No one will do it for you. Start taking responsibility for your own choices. You’re the only person who can change your own circumstances!

The next step

Pursuing a dream can be overwhelming at first. If you have big dreams, big goals and you want to achieve high accomplishments, great! It’s good to have a vision. Keep this in mind at all times.

If you feel overwhelmed at at a certain point, acknowledge that you don’t have to have everything figured out upfront. You only need to take one next step in that direction. Just one.

It’s like climbing a mountain. How do you do that? Step by step. Therefore, the only thing you need to focus on right now is to take ONE NEXT STEP in that direction.

Keep focus with your vision in mind

If you know where you want to go to, don’t bother about HOW you will get there. Just focus on the first next step, and then you’ll find that your next step will unfold automatically.

Have confidence in this journey and just commit to yourself to keep putting one step after the other. If you can keep doing this, then sooner or later you’ll find yourself at the top of that mountain. No matter how high it might be! 😉

Keep your vision in mind, don’t let yourself be distracted. This also means that you should not listen to people that are trying to talk you out of this. Their only trying to project their fears on you, for all the good reasons, but then again …

Remember: it’s YOUR LIFE. Not theirs.

Only take advice from people that have succeeded in that what you’re desiring.

And know that everything is figureoutable! 😉 If you have to learn something, start with that first, and put it into practice secondly.

At last, have faith in your dream. Don’t listen do your doubts and fears, because they are nothing more than an illusion to protect your ego from being hurt.

So, what’s your first next step? Good luck with it!


Loes Derks

Is your first next step to build an online business? Or to transition your current business from offline to online? Then I’d love to help you with that!

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How to avoid regrets in life

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